brix van wright...

um. . . yeah it's been over 3 months since i blogged
& i thought i would get my birth story up with in the first 2 weeks after my bundle was born

pshhhhh yup that didn't happen

finally today
i want to share my birth story . . .

it was thursday december 12th
the day i had my appointment to get my membranes stripped
now  . . . his due date was december 18th & i told my doc he better come before or on his due date
i was not about to have a baby close to christmas or on christmas
personally . . .  i would just feel bad for him having to celebrate his birthday right by the most celebrated holiday ever
but now i realize december is such a joyful time of year & i will make his birthday special no matter what day he was born.

but . . . josh & i were hoping he would come on friday the 13th like his mumma! (mumma was born on friday september 13)

so . . .
i had my membranes stripped
um . . . ouchy!
i was also 1 1/2 cm dilated & 100% effaced, so things were looking great
my doctor jokingly said "okay guys, see you tomorrow!"
we walked out feeling hopeful!

i was ready
ready to go through labor
ready to sleep on my stomach
ready to squeeze my husband close
but most of all ready to meet our lil man!

last picture i took before going into labor

that night we went christmas shopping & walked the mall for a good 3-4 hours
then we got home and i started packing our hospital bags & finished putting his room together
for the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy i just tried to keep myself as busy as possible
the anxious feeling got stronger everyday that passed closing in on his due date
WE WERE SO EXCITED!

i went to bed that night at midnight
i woke up at 2 a.m. to lower back pain that felt like menstrual cramping
it didn't hurt & i really didn't think much of it so i went back to sleep
then i woke up again at 4 a.m. to a much stronger pain in my lower back
i still wasn't sure if this was it? if i was in labor or not?
so josh told me to start timing them
they were coming on pretty strong, but bearable
right off the bat they were a minute apart & lasting 30-50 seconds each
i started thinking . . . okay, i know these are contractions!

i was walking around our house gathering things together
the pain just kept getting worse & worse
josh said, "i think this is it babe, lets go to the hospital. the contractions are waaaay too close not to".
after an hour & half we were headed to the hospital

during the ride at 5:30 a.m. to the hospital
the thoughts that were running through my head were,
-ha ha no way!!! what a perfect day to have our baby boy . . . friday the 13th
-it was a beautiful foggy morning
-this is it . . . we are going to finally meet our sweet baby boy
-these contractions are awful, here comes another one
-i don't get how women have the urge to scream during contractions . . . too much effort. my screams were just a small whimper
-are we there yet!!!

we pulled up to the hospital
we entered into the lobby & my water broke. my water broke!!!
*tmi* feeling gush run down my legs made things feel like this is for real, it's really gonna happen . . .  holy crap i'm going to push out my baby today!

right after my water broke the contractions came like huge waves of pain
holy mother!!!

when i found out i was pregnant i wanted to prepare myself for every situation of labor

sure, i'd like to try it all natural, see what my body is capable of & made for
c-section scared me a bit but if that was the way to get him here, then so be it
if i know that i can't take the pain, don't feel bad getting an epidural
no matter what way of labor, i want him to arrive healthy & safely, that's all that really mattered

by 8 am i told josh
screw this!
give me the epidural
i was dilated at a 3 when they gave me the epidural

now. . .
i hate needles
i was scared to death to get the epidural
everyone told me that they didn't feel it & it actually feels good because of the pressure
i crouched over on the bed into fetal position
i could here the anesthesiologist getting it ready
i concentrated on my contractions & was biting down on my lips

when the doctor put the numbing in first
oh boy! i jumped! it felt like somebody put a freakin fire torch right against my skin!
NOT GOOD!
the anesthesiologist got mad at me
he said, "you can't move, this procedure is very serious! you move again & you will have a natural child birth."
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry!!!
so i bucked down & made sure i did not move a muscle

once the meds kicked in
everything was a breeze
i felt so so so much better, except for the shakes.
i got the shakes bad & they didn't go away even though i felt completely relaxed

what was cool about my epidural is that i was numb
but i could still feel the pressure of my contractions, i still knew when one was coming on but felt no pain at the same time

my nurse checked me ever 2 hours
after i got the epidural i was feeling SO excited & relaxed . . . pretty much on a high
i couldn't believe it was happening still!
10am came around & my nurse told me i was a 5 & making great progress

all of the sudden . . .
i spiked a fever & baby boys heart beat went up
WHAT?!!! WHY?!
i got a little worried
so they put me on antibiotics
but they told me since i will be on them that they will have to take baby boy right after birth to run some tests to make sure everything is ok. . .
this made me panic a little bit inside(ok A LOT), like thinking of every possible bad thing that could happen but trying not to at the same time!

my sweetheart of a husband josh said a prayer
nothing better than feeling the love of his words calm down my nerves
we were staying very positive & hopeful
we just wanted our baby to get here safely & healthy!

after an hour my fever went down & baby boys heart beat settled down too
i was SO grateful & extremely happy that things turned around
my nurse said if they didn't,  then they might have to do a C-section

my nurse came back to check me at noon
so between the hours of 10am to 12pm i did feel a pushing sensation
& some pressure down below

when she checked me she looked at me with a shocked face
she said, "you are a 10 +2, your ready to push!"
WHAT?!
YAY! it's time to meet our lil man!

we had to wait for my doctor cause a bunch of other women were ready to push as well
but my nurse said this is good, lil boy will have more time to descend.

finally my doc came in a half hour later!
here we gooooo!
i have to say that pushing was my favorite part
it was such a cool & surreal feeling
she had me push for 10 seconds & rest till my next contraction
i could feel my contractions coming on so i was the one saying
"okay here comes another!"
with each push i could feel him descending
i knew where his head was
i knew where his shoulders were
seriously the most amazing feeling ever

in the middle of pushing
josh turned to me & said, "he's got hair babe!!!"
it made me push harder . . .

after 15 minutes of pushing
our little miracle arrived in my arms
that feeling . . .
it was like time stopped.
to look into his eyes & speak to him, "i'm your mumma, mumma's right here."
& for him to calm down, recognize your voice, & simply stare at you with such love.
there's no words to describe that feeling!

Brix Van Wright

Born on Friday December 13, 2013
at 1:21 p.m.
weighing 6 pounds 0 ounces
19.5 inches long
pure perfection!!!

after 2 minutes of holding him they had to take him away & run some tests
josh went with him

i was sent to my maternity room & waited by myself for my loves
i waited 3-4 hours
alone
i was wondering what the heck was going on!!!
during those hours i was balling, they took my baby away
this was the time i wanted to nurse & bond
sitting there still a bit numb realizing how alone i really was
my baby was no longer with me all the time in my belly
i was freaking out . . .was something wrong?

finally josh called me & told me what was going on
they had been trying to get an ivy into my little guy
he had been poked over 10 times, on both hands & his little head
hearing this just broke my heart, knowing that i couldn't be there killed me
they finally got one in on the top of his head

we found out that his blood sugars were way low & had to be admitted in to the NICU
my heart just hurt!
ya know . . . you always dream of having your baby in your arms & going to your room with them
having visitors come meet him
sleeping with him
counting down the hours for when we get to bring him home
nope, that went right out the window for us

we were there for 3 days after he was born

he had to be pricked on his heel every couple of hours to test his blood sugar levels

his heel was purple
saddest thing ever!
he was so so so tiny
he had so many cords all over him
he had to be on oxygen cause they think he aspirated a little bit when he was born
he had to wear a cute little mask & be under lights for bilirubin (which he actually liked)
it's was hard to try & nurse him or even hold him
seriously the saddest little thing ever!

the NICU nurses just fell in love with him & had high hopes that he'd be out of there soon

josh & i were exhausted & just wanted to be with our little boy at home

finally we got to take him home on 16th
BEST FEELING! such relief to know that our lil Brix was perfectly healthy!

our little baby was born but josh & i were also born into a mother & father! greatest gift ever!

we love you unconditionally baby Brix! were so lucky to be your parents!