252 days = 36 weeks today . . .

today my lil man is 36 weeks

i can't believe it

he is going to make his grand entrance into this world . . . 

right into mumma & daddy's arms

in 4 weeks!

complete & pure joy is going on in our home

right now i am so anxious to meet him

to see him

to hear that lil cry

to smell MY newborn baby

to hold his lil diaper bum

to stare at him for hours

to kiss his soft baby skin

to hold him so close & never let go

to talk to him

to bond with him

& to know that i carried him inside me 

& helped him grow

& for him to know that i'm his mumma

being a pregnant wife

compared to being just my normal wifey self

it's been a challenge

as women we are so privileged to carry a tiny human being inside of us

we get to experience so so so much

movements

sleep/awake cycles

hiccups

growing belly

cravings

massages

i could go on & on & on & on

what i'm trying to get to is that the husband doesn't get to really experience much

sure, he gets to see his wife change before his eyes

he gets to feel the movements outside the tummy

but . . .

it's not the same bonding as the mumma gets to go through

joshua is SO anxious

he can't wait to meet his little gent

if you know josh

he will pick up any kid he see's

play with them until he freaks out the parents haha

he has always wanted to be a daddy

since the day i met him! 

during pregnancy

i have so badly tried to think of ways for him to connect

like i do with him inside me

but  . . .

it's just not the same

although, getting his nursery ready

& buying all the big purchases

i sit & watch josh very intently

it's like christmas for josh

he can't wait for them to be delivered to the door

he can't wait to open everything up & assemble everything

that has been quite precious to see!

i know the moment that josh gets to hold his baby boy

it's going to bring something out in josh that is going to be incredible to watch

I CAN'T WAIT!

i tear up just thinking about it haha!

joshua baby, 

your going to be one of a kind father

our lil guys is so lucky to have you!

now ladies  . . .

the crazy things that i have learned about being pregnant

#1. no body really tells you in detail what pregnancy is going to do to your body 

or what your going to go through deeply

i'm simply going to make a pros & cons list to lay it out for ya

& i'm going to completely honest

cause i'm done with people telling me other wise or that they have forgotten

makes you feel like your the only pregnant women going through this

& i know i'm not

before i say anything

this is my experience

i know that there are really women out there that have the dreamiest of pregnancies

i do

& maybe it's different when your carrying a boy or a girl

also i want you all to know how GRATEFUL & THANKFUL & BLESSED i am to be pregnant. i know a lot of woman who are struggling with infertility & probably wanting to slap my face!

 & your all probably saying under your breath "just enjoy it all, at least your pregnant"

your completely right ladies! 

COMPLETELY RIGHT!

but pregnancy is a whole other world

it's hard

your not yourself

your body is being taken over for 9+ months

especially being pregnant for the first time

everything your experience is brand new & very unknown

but i wouldn't change it for ANYTHING!

i'll start with cons at 36 weeks:

-my hips go numb sleeping on my sides, i change position every 20-30 minutes

when i awake in the morning i have to walk off the throbbing from my mushy hips . . it hurts

-i have major back acne, it's awful & nothing helps to prevent it

-i'm a grease ball, my hair, my skin, my clothes & my sheets. i guess this is what they call the "pregnancy glow"???

-i smell like a teenage boy going through puberty. it's disgusting. i have tried everything from showering twice a day sometimes. i have the clinical deodorant, i even wore josh's deodorant & it didn't work. 

-all my maternity clothes are becoming too tight. it's down to dresses now. i'm too close to birth to go buy any more maternity clothes. i'll just wear josh's clothes :)

-one word . . . edema of the face. it's just a pregnancy feature & lots of woman do get it but man! . . . you just don't feel like your self looking in the mirror. there have been times when i am feeling refreshed & energized & people say to me . . . "gosh mal, you look beautiful but exhausted" 

awesome, thanks! it's the puffy face grrrr

-you can't "up keep" down below. . . know what i'm saying ladies. i can't see it anymore. i've become a jungle woman :( 

-i was obsessed with doing my toenails & nails every week. yeah thats out the window. my toenails are so long i started to look like bigfoot. thank goodness for josh. he has really become a great pedicurist! 

- i get really emotional or angry if i'm not fed at a precise time, yup, i've become a monster.

-menuvering is a challenge, getting up from the couch, getting in & out of a vehicle. 

-i hate to say this but it's happens . . . using those lovely panty liners. stuff comes out. it's gross & you think of all the ways to prevent that. forget it. just embrace it.

-i am more than a heater. i'm a volcano ready to erupt. even this fall i am still sweating in every crevice. i have hot flashes all the time. just when you have done your makeup & are feeling good. . . it just melts away after 10 minutes. 

-i'm still so tired & fatigued all the time. but i know it's just preparing me for when he is here.

pros at 36 weeks:

-feeling feeling feeling that sweet baby inside you growing. knowing that your doing everything to take care of this little human being. you WILL do anything!

-my hair is thicker, it's nice during but everyone says it's going to fall out. . . great

-i love having size D cup haha lets just say josh likes that too :)

-even though my skin is oily...it's really quite soft

-when you eat a meal being pregnant & your stuffed. . .no body can tell haha you can just let it all out!

-i have noticed every where you go, people are SO nice to you because your pregnant. they smile at you & your belly. they always ask "how are you doing, how far are you, you have the cutest belly, here let me get a cart for you, i'll get your groceries, or give you a price match list to save money"(thats happened twice) & it's all very genuine!

-when shopping for baby clothes. . .knowing that your actually going to put it on your baby, that your the one that is pregnant & your not just buying this for someone else or your future babies. 

-your husband will get anything & everything for you. . . it's soooo nice. definitely not taking that for granted! 

i know there are more but i can't think of anything else at this point. plus i'm tired haha

i will put more things up next week i'm sure.

i honestly am just SO much more excited to get him here! 

this is the home stretch & i'll be counting down the days!

baby boy! you are so loved already! 

4 more weeks!!!

you are going to be one spoiled lil baby, you already are & you haven't even arrived!

these are some of my maternity photographs by my wonderful friend. . . the amazing lindsey stewart